"I spend most of my life naked,” Adam Levine once said after a nude photo shoot. “In fact, I often have to be told by the people around me that it’s inappropriate to be as naked as I am.” Indeed, this oft-naked man makes headlines with the many (many, many) tattoos on his near-naked body. It happened this week, when he unveiled an intricate new back tattoo of a mermaid at sea, inspiring headlines like “Adam Levine Debuts Giant Back Tattoo of Flying Mermaid, Skull — It Took 6 Months!”; “Adam Levine's Massive Back Tattoo Is A Mythical Work Of Art”; “Adam Levine's New Back Tattoo Is Worse Than Maroon 5.”
I don’t care about these headlines, but I do care that this occasion seems to mandate a timely perusal of Levine’s naked body. As it happens, an array of websites and discussion boards are devoted to decoding his tattoos, which are a mix of nonsensical and sentimental: His first tattoo was inked when he was 21, as a tribute to 9/11. Later, he got a beaded necklace in Japan because he was bored. Herewith, a taxonomy.
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